This is totally blog-worthy. I was in a meeting in Vermont, and I got this forwarded email from Melissa, my cousin, on my iPhone, and I literally laughed out loud. So much so, that someone in the meeting asked me what was so funny.
So, my cousin Chris, Melissa’s husband, is taking some classes at the University of Phoenix. He’s super smart, and can like fix a computer just by “thinking” about fixing it. So, I’m not exactly sure why he needs to take classes, but thats another story. You see, those two, Melissa and Chris, and I spend a lot of our time laughing about life. So, Wednesday was Chris’ birthday. And this heel forgot to call because I was in those meetings. Luckily, Chris isn’t a girl, so he didn’t care. Anyway, Chris’ class is on Wednesday nights, so he didn’t go to class. It was literally the first time he probably missed his class. He’s kind of an overachiever like that. The next morning he got this wonderfully scripted email from PU:
Chris’ response, which is SO worth the price of admission to jasoncupp.com. Freaking hilarious. Notice that he copied the dude from PU:
Holy cow. Chris, this is your best work ever. Wanna grab a beer this coming Wednesday night? Say, about 7pm?
Loading 
{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
Anonymous 06.24.08 at 11:47 pm
That is completely hilarious. I had a friend go there and he told me the whole thing was a joke. I tried to tell him to go to KU when he started but he didn’t want to hear it.
eroomk 01.03.09 at 4:16 am
I almost pee’d my pants on this one! I think the academic counsellors should draft those memos for all the students that have free classes (a.k.a. UOP employees). I have been in several classes where a UOP employee does the bare minimum, never contributes to team projects and checks the box. I spend so much time doing their work, that I have less time for reading and absorbing the material. It is a game of hamster, running on the wheel with no landscape change!
Todd 01.22.09 at 12:33 pm
Sounds like Chris is your typical everyday ASSHOLE.
Melissa 01.23.09 at 3:02 pm
Todd let me ask you a question. Did you attend college? If so did you receive straight A’s? Well I am assuming that your answer is going to be no because of your ignorant comment that you made. Chris did graduate with Honors and doesn’t need some “academic advisor” (p.s. that Chris never meet or heard from until this email) treating him like his mother. This is what I will leave you with Todd, bite your tongue.
Chris 01.23.09 at 3:06 pm
Whoa, I would like everyone to just get along. Todd and I are negotiating a possible friendship, and I want peace and harmony on Jason’s blog page. You are all my friends. Please don’t say hurtful things.
Joshua Emeel 06.10.09 at 5:43 pm
Sounds like Melissa is a snob. I think you take yourself and life too seriously Mel, lighten up, live a little. Your comment reminds me of this old saying… Pot calling the kettle black..
In defense of Todd;
what Chris did was actually rude and uncalled for. Todd’s comment may have been rude, but then again what Chris did wasn’t exactly a wonderful response either.
Grow up Melissa, the world does not revolve around your judgments, you are not the final arbiter on anything other than yourself; maybe not even that!
annon 06.25.09 at 11:49 am
I hate that they have to act like they are your mother but I can promise you this….UOP requires their counselors to contact students even when its not necessary so from the counselors standpoint I can completely understand. From the students standpoint I know it can be annoying and its fun to joke. You would be shocked to see just how many of their students do need their hand held. If the fall out of attendance and were not warned about the financial consequences then they blame the school…”why didn’t anyone call me?” that response was hilarious though!
VOODOO 07.02.09 at 2:31 pm
Unfortunately, I was an enrollment counselor with uop for about three years and the amount of pressure that they put on them is unbelievable.
The guy who sent the ridiculous email is just doing what it takes to keep his job, and if he didnt send that email, his manager would know. Its all automated now.
Virginia Vixen 08.28.09 at 2:06 am
I am sad to say that I was also an enrollment counselor for UOP for about one year. The whole objective of this school is to make money. It really doesn’t matter if the student can read or not they just want your $$$$$. And part of them being able to get your money is the retention of students. Counselors are required to bug students all the time to make sure that they are in class. I’ve seen people lose their jobs because they were not able to do so….That is the problem when an educational institution operates solely on profit. WARNING: Do not ever give your name or number to anyone asking you to be a referral for UOP unless you are really for endless annoying calls from them. Your name stays in the system forever and they WILL call you for years to come!!!
Shawn 11.04.09 at 9:30 pm
There programs are ridiculous for the money spent. I could have taken a correspondence class from a my local community college for less then half the cost of one of their classes and probably have gotten a better education. A for them wanting money more then anything, boy you’re right. I was pressured by my guidance counselor to sign up right away to get in on some “free book offer for a limited time” even though HE KNEW that I didn’t have a modern PC capable of supporting the website. I really had no way to turn in certain assignments for the first 6 weeks because my PC couldn’t support Microsoft Office. You know what he suggested? He said I should go to a local hotel and try to use their PC! I just about shit a brick when he told me this. Halfway through my second set of classes I had enough of the sub par education I was getting and dropped out. They tried everything they could to get me to stay. Instead of telling them that I thought they were crappy, I told them I was leaving for personal reasons that I couldn’t get into to get them from badgering me. It worked and I haven’t heard anything from them since and I hope it stays that way. UofP sucks!!!!!
tim smith 01.13.10 at 12:38 am
This is awesome hahahahah!!!!!!! But come on guys. This is corperate america. EVERYTHING IS ABOUT MONEY. Since when is an education, ummmm free? Secondly, why the heck did some of you enroll into this online school when you didnt have a computer that supported the software needed in order to go to school at uop? Thats like going to a local ground college without paper, pens, books, etc. What did u expect? Lastly, have any of you tried to enroll in a local cc? You get ZERO service. Regardless if UOP “sucks”, your complaining about nothing. I worked at bank before, and guess what? Its all about sales in a bank too. What are you going to do? Not bank with anyone?
Sam 01.15.10 at 11:18 pm
UOP has given me a good education, also, it was a commitment to attend the classes, it is an accredited school just like any other college the only difference is that it is a private institution. Why did you guys go there to begin with, probably because you need to advance in your studies because you probably have dead end jobs with no future to them, so you looked for some hope somewhere else. When you can finish the degree plan, walk and get your raise or promotion them talk your shit. By the way i was able to get my Masters and now I am in charge of a nursing home making probably more money that you fools. People that complain about UOP are probably the ones that could not cut it in college. You poor bastards….losers all your lives…grow up
jason cupp 01.15.10 at 11:24 pm
Sam, I can tell you for sure that my cousin Chris is a pretty smart fella. In fact, he knows lots about lots. He even knows how to use Google! It’s amazing what this education has done for his self-esteem. It’s obvious that UOP taught you how to be arrogant, self-serving and greedy. Sweet, you should congratulate yourself!
Melissa 01.15.10 at 11:48 pm
Sam
I was wondering since you are so rich and run a nursing home if my husband and I quit mcdonalds could we into your nursing home? Please help us, I only have a bachelors degree and Chris has two bachelor degree and almost done with his masters degree. We could use your help
Aaron 02.12.10 at 2:25 pm
Gee, Sam. I’m grateful for your pity, though it took me a while to ascertain that it was in fact pity that you felt for all of us. Your grammar is hideous. Apparently your little Master’s degree doesn’t imply you having taken any business communications classes. I’m glad that you’re happy at your job changing old folks’ diapers (or whatever the hell we’re supposed to believe you do), but the complaints listed here about UOP, as I can tell you from personal experience, are valid. Sam, since when does writing a comment containing a valid complaint make someone loser for life? Check yourself, punk. Watch that ego.
Aaron 02.12.10 at 2:47 pm
Oh, one more thing, Sammy: I wonder what the residents of your nursing home would think about the fact that the manager of their residence spends his time making petty, sophomoric criticisms on a blog site in a sub-par attempt to bolster his own self-esteem?
incognito 02.28.10 at 5:14 am
UOP, SUCKS ASS! They get you in all pumped up as an enrollment counselor, then spit you out when they are through with you. They allow their managers to badger employees, and treat them less than human. The professors are what make the school worth it, but the company could care less about the staff, unless of course you kiss Ass!!
jay 03.14.10 at 7:19 pm
This place is a joke i cant believe the department of education did not close this sorry excuse for a university down yet.
Sara 03.28.10 at 1:22 pm
I graduated and earned my MA in psychology from the UOP. I am currently working on my MD at the University of Madison Wiscsonsin. I understand that some people may have had a bad experience through this school, but mine was incredible and it has helped me succeed in life. I’m not trying to down anyone for their opinion, but I want other people to see the good side of UOP and not just the bad.
4 yr Phoenix Student 04.01.10 at 3:35 pm
This is the WEAKEST website I’ve ever seen. Your numb-nuts brother should thank his counselor for keeping an eye on him! Your entire family is probably retarded – so it doesn’t suprise me that Chris failed out of college… LAME
shaun 04.25.10 at 2:40 pm
@ 4-yr Phoenix Student: took you 4 whole years to graduate from Spam U? You may need to rethink who’s retarded. Good luck finding a job with that joke of a degree on your resume. BTW, do you graduates print your diplomas off teh internets when you all graduate?
JJ 05.10.10 at 11:23 pm
I like UOP, it’s been a blessing in my life to fit the online schedule into my life. I think the counselor was very thoughful to send a note, I never got that sort of attention at previous schools. When a organization is successful they seem to have “debbie downers” in their mist. I guess I can see the haha humor in the note but I believe the counselor had the students interest at heart, just like a mom would.
UOPDOESSUCK 05.20.10 at 3:05 pm
Don’t go there. You sell your soul to the UOP DEVIL. There instructors are shit less, and worthless. All these Good reviews about U OP must be paid salesmen from University of Phoenix. I’ve been there hate UOP and will never go back. $#$%$ UOP!
Bill 05.22.10 at 8:30 am
I actually worked at UOP for about 8 months as an enrollment advisor. I graduated from Purdue with a 4.0 so I understand college this place is a true legal scam. Advisors get 3 weeks training and it is a sales job not an advisory position. Tremendous pressure from team leads, team supervisoers, managers etc. constantly to make more calls, see more people, register more students. The true scam is how they get you to use student loans, look at the numbers they are posted everywhere UOP has lost federal lawsuits regarding these abuses. I am sure this program has helped a relative few people but more than 92% of students who register dont finish 1 year…look it up. This place is a scam that preys not only on the student but on the employee as well. By the way most schools will barely give any..any…any credit for UOP classes. Saw and heard daily about this. UOP is a scam.
Louise 05.25.10 at 7:08 pm
I started UOP for 3 years now, and because I had serious! Family issues my counselor keep telling me to not miss class because I would lose my aid. Well, I continued,and failed! Now they want 4,500.00 dollars or I can’t come back! I just lost my job,and they couldn’t care less! They sent me to collections,and wouldn’t even take payments. Come to find out they charge triple of what the community charges. I do believe now that they are a scam. I’m “really” disappointed with them. Because my counselor only pushed me to do these classes becuase of aid money when I should of just dropped intil my life was better. Ok, so now I don’t even know what to do!
gaily 06.17.10 at 6:48 am
UOP is a complete joke. They push poor, unsophisticated people into taking out huge student loans to complete their lame classes and most of these people never graduate. I have an online argument with one of their “guidance counselors”, who tried to push their crappy Masters in Psychology degree. I have a Masters Degree from a real university and my entire program cost less than one year at UOP. Their program does not allow for licensure and it basically a joke. They have a handful of PHD professors and most instructors have no more education than a Masters Degree. How many UOP graduates do I know? None. I have been in a professional position with the government for many years and have never met one person who completed a degree at this dump. I heard yesterday that the Feds are going to crack down on this scam operation due to their shady business practices and the amount of student loans that go into default.
Truth 07.07.10 at 6:09 pm
Hi All,
After reading these posts I notice not a single person takes accountability for when something goes bad. Here is some food for thought for the UoP haters:
1. UoP is the largest college in the country (450k+) students, online at over 200 campuses across the country. As a University it has the largest military student population, and graduates the most MBA students and teachers of any school in the US each year. That’s right, the same “sub par” education that the “unsuccessful” students speak of, is that which teaches the children of America.
2. UoP is accredited just like the following list of major schools http://www.ncahlc.org.
3. Almost ALL online education follows in the footsteps of UoP…That goes for Kaplan, Cappela, Grand Canyon, FCU, Ashford, Walden, Western Gov, Everest etc etc. This means when you read about someone saying “blah blah blah” about UoP and their friend, or advice giver, says go to one of those other schools its actually just a close spin off of UoP, with less customer service and on a much smaller scale.
4. University of Phoenix wants to allow anyone a chance for school. The down side to this is, the school has to enroll not only some of the brightest minds in the country, but also some people that realistically should not be in school (at UoP or anywhere for that matter).
5. UoP works very closely with the federal government, I know of MANY government workers with degrees from UoP. Just last week the former Sec of State was the key note speaker at UoP’s main graduation ceremony. The main graduation ceremony takes place at the University of Phoenix Stadium (AZ Cardinals football stadium).
6. FA
– Students using financial aid can not be out of class for longer then 29 days (per the government), and if going to be out need to talk to their advisors to schedule a leave of absence (you will end up owing a balance)
- Failing classes while on financial aid (you will end up owing a balance)
- Managing own funds (typically results in owing a balance)
First and second year college students should go to a local community college and get some college exp before attempting to attend a 4 year University.
UoP is a for profit school as are most schools (even state schools) state schools just get funding from other areas, so the for profit piece is not a main focus. Enrollment and marketing from all online schools follows UoP. Many of the employees at other online schools came from UoP…Many of the students that advisors have to deal with are slightly bi-polar and do some of the most crazy things with their educations. Its a wonder that the employees don’t go nuts. One would think adults act in a certain way, but the fact is they are rude, hostile and often a big giant pain in the azz. These are the complainers, failures, FA issues etc, The good students are respectful, driven and committed to their educations.
I could go on and on…but I think we get the point…
Truth 07.07.10 at 7:32 pm
One more thing about the initial email from the advisor with UoP.
Chris (student) did not seem to understand what college attendance is all about. UoP requires that your participate at least 4 days a week online and if you go to the ground campus you meet 1 day a week. Failing to meet attendance can cause a student to be auto dropped from the class, at that point he would have to pay for the portion of his class he attended (some times all of it) and have to retake the course. This has the potential to cause a student a HUGE out of pocket expense as the amount of financial aid a student receives covers “x” number of classes/credits. Failing classes means the amount needed to complete “x” number of classes is more then the student actually receives.
In a 5 week course missing one week of attendance means you were there 80% of the time…Missing 2 weeks means you were there 60% of the time and you are auto dropped from the class roster. The advisor’s that are linked up to Chris are measured off of a student being successful with school. If the fail or are auto dropped the advisors have to call the student every week for a year…trust me… the email was sent not because they enjoy sending reminders to students that they are college students which missed their classes, but because they don’t want to have to call a person for a year that can not come up with the money to get back in school.
jason cupp 07.07.10 at 8:22 pm
Let it be known that “Truth” is actually a University of Phoenix employee.
They posted their comments from IP Address 204.17.31.126 which is registered to University of Phoenix. I’m hoping that “Truth” actually took classes at University of Phoenix on internet anonymity. Smart fella, he is.
Don’t believe me? Search it yourself. http://cqcounter.com/whois/
THE Chris 07.08.10 at 8:14 pm
Holy Crap! Is posting to this blog a requirement for graduation at UOP? The reason this whole thing was started was because I thought it was a little ridiculous that I was enrolled at a university that treated me like a child. Nothing was said about the quality of education. At the time I was 30 years old and if I was not responsible enough to show up for class 4 of the 5 nights I would think that an accredited university would not want me to posses a degree from there school. In conclusion, it was meant to be funny. I did this to make the people I love smile. I hope you can all see the funny side of it.
The True Truth 07.14.10 at 5:57 pm
Truth, WHATEVER!
I was the worst of them all for two years! Yes, I was a “Corporte Education Liaison.” I was trained to go out in the field and use heavy handed techniques to manipulate people to complete “lead cards” that would go to counselors. My soul is permanently scared by this.
People I can guarantee you this, who ever or what ever Truth is one thing is for sure. They are a planted individual either working for or hired by University of Phoenix to hide all bad publicity and rectify these horrible stories that leak out on the internet. They even go as far as buying expired web site names and create dead links like uopsucks.com. I know, I was at an “all employee meeting” where the region’s director told us about this strategy specifically.
Chris, I totally laughed, you are right brother, this should have made people laugh and it should have been just a funny blog.
—- Doesn’t everyone find it odd that the longest post is by a “person” defending UOP through facts? Holy crap, two entries!!
Well the True truth is that once the sophisticated search hounds of UOP find this type of posting they do everything they can to dismiss it by hiding behind facts (that can always be manipulated, like -oh we won World War II by dropping two bombs- or -oh Hitler, he was really tough on crime, he jailed gypsies-) or dismiss it as a diatribe by a few disgruntled ex students or employees.
People the True truth is that University of Phoenix does suck for a lot of reasons and that super long ass entry by “Truth” defending it should be enough proof for anyone with any kind of intelligence to decipher.
— FREAK’N ROFL!!!!– I just read the last Jason Cupp entry!!!
Enough said…
I hope the goons at UOP don’t come and get me.
Rich 08.03.10 at 11:50 am
Hey everyone,
I have been going for a few years and have about 1 year left. I am in the Education program and are currently doing my observation at a local school here in SC. I will agree the cost is a bit high but it fits into my schedule better than any other I have found. I am sorry some people have had bad experiences with them but mine have not been all that bad. The school I am going to be doing my student teaching at already has a job lined up for me teaching 2nd grade and life is good here.
The UofP is not for everybody. Some people find it challenging while others find it not. What I will say to all is just be very cognisent of what you do and where you pick to go to school and make sure it fits your lifestyle and needs. This one did for me although I will be going to the University of Florida for my Masters because the cost is the same.
Hope you all are well out there in CYBER-land and remember that no one can make you do anything in life, its what you allow them too!
RICH “OMEGA” STARLING
Natasha 08.03.10 at 6:15 pm
I am going to University of piss right now. My instructor never answers my questions and is a total jerk. I got a letter to cease and desist because I called her out on my “main” discussion forum and was told that I violated student conduct. I hate these people!!!!!
@ Natasha 08.04.10 at 10:07 am
Wow…
I have not had that problem. I am so sorry girl. I would call the school on her, or was it the school who sent the letter?
Bill 08.04.10 at 3:27 pm
I was once an employee for Sallie Mae, the nation’s largest private lender. Before we closed down operations at the office in AZ, I worked for the department that handled UoP students exclusively. You cannot even begin to imagine the number of calls I received daily from students who were completely disgusted with the “education” they received while in attendance. On top of that, as mentioned previously, they felt very pressured and constantly nannied by their UoP minders.
Since I handled the financial aid end of things, I naturally heard more stories to that end that mostly dealt with shady practices and mismanagement of funds. I took these calls to heart the most considering that the costs of attendance and the financial repayment on loans is a very serious thing indeed.
Having talked to students in relation to their FA and hearing their cries for help (along with wishes to leave), the thing that many of them did not know and set them off the most in relation to breaking away from UoP and going to a traditional school was this: CREDITS DO NOT TRANSFER. PERIOD. How lame is that? Then again, that’s seemingly common in the realm of these for profit institutions.
Lastly, and a side note at that, I almost took a job as an “enrollment advisor” after having relocated to AZ in ’06. Having heard from other people firsthand as well as having read information online, I can only thank the stars above that I was not hired.
jason cupp 08.08.10 at 6:35 pm
so this is funny…. “david” submitted a comment to this thread, but actually posted it to “Mrs. Swan – Drive Thru” instead… Hilarious!
http://www.jasoncupp.com/blog/?p=675#comment-4349
UOP Instructor 08.21.10 at 5:01 pm
The following showed up in my email this morning.
————————
Good morning Faculty,
You may have already seen a number of media stories regarding the for-profit education sector. Some of the media reports have focused on recruiting practices at a number of for-profit proprietary colleges, including the University of Phoenix and have a negative tone. Some UOPX campuses have been targeted with undercover video and audio recording, and I want you to be aware of these activities. As you are probably aware, a segment recently aired on Good Morning America, in which University of Phoenix was portrayed in a negative light based on a counselor’s improper advisement.
I’d like to share with you the UOPX response to the segment that aired. Please take an opportunity to read the response to the segment, it may be may be found at:
http://www.phoenix.edu/about_us/media_relations/for-the-record/university-of-phoenix-responds-to-good-morning-america.html
As always, we want all of our students, current and potential, to get great customer service and the proper answers to their questions. I want to emphasize the importance of not attempting to answer questions that you are not 100% sure of the answer. Many times we can create more issues by attempting to be helpful to a student. The University has established a mailbox specifically for inquiries regarding these negative segments. Should you get questions regarding issues from your students, please refer them to UofPhoenix@phoenix.edu.
I appreciate all you do in the classroom to ensure that our students are getting a quality education and for all you do to help your students reach their educational goals.
Thank you—the Academic Affairs Team