Fear Based Leadership and Intimidation is not Sustainable in Todays Marketplace

When I was in Middle School, I wrestled.  I had the biggest jerk on the face of the earth as a coach – all he did was yell at me and the rest of my teammates, ridicule use, tell us we were horrible, and that was supposed to be “encouragement” for us to stay the course and do better as individual wrestlers, and as a team.  I ended up quitting after two seasons, and honestly, as I look back on it, I was a pretty good wrestler at the time.  Years later, I ran into the coach and I told him exactly the way he made me feel and how I never wanted to be that way as I grew up.

He led by fear and intimidation.  And it did not work.

In the last week, I’ve had two colleagues call me and tell me that they were struggling with the culture in the businesses they worked for, because they had a co-worker or boss who used Fear Based Leadership as a means to an end.  I was shocked to hear the stories of great, long-term employees making a mass exodus from companies because of one person who does not know the word “compassion”, the words “i’m sorry”  and, if they do, they certainly don’t know how to communicate past their own insecure interests.

I’ve found that people with these traits are often masking their own inadequacies and their inability to truly lead.  So, they just scare those great people around them off, for the only benefit that makes sense to them – themselves.  That was certainly the case, as it appears, with the two colleagues that called me last week, but also my horrible wrestling coach.

So, what do you do if you have a boss, leader or co-worker that uses passive agression as a communication tactic?  Ugh.  It’s not easy.  It completely depends on the organization, as well as who the person is who is the one doing it.  The easiest way, in my opinion, to thwart it is to not triangulate.  Triangulation is when you have a problem with one person, and instead of going to that person with the concern, you go to someone else to try to solve it, or worse yet, gossip about it.  I always suggest in my consulting practice, that no matter how difficult it is, go to the person you have a problem with.  Immediately.  They might not even know they are doing it.  And, if they become defensive (which they likely will) or use more fear based intimidation tactics, then you can circle in the HR Department or your mutual boss if you have one.

It’s more than a sticky situation, but if handled properly, you won’t have to live in the world of fear, thinking that your good-natured efforts will ultimately lead to termination, or you quitting.

If you want to chat about it confidentially, just hit me up.  I’m always happy to chat about situations like this, as I definitely (and unfortunately) see them often.

To an encouraging leadership culture,

~Jason